Students Under Attack

I don't like vulnerability. I like to give life advice. I like to brag about my "kids" who are actually not my kids. I like to finish telling my friends about a bad day by saying "but it's all good" and I like to sing Taylor Swift at the top of my lungs in my kitchen to remedy the stress of my incredibly extensive to-do list. I'm part of the problem -- a big part. And frankly, I don't want to talk about it. Which is another huge part of the problem because no one wants to talk about it.

What's "it" you ask?

"The U.S. Census Bureau reports that in 2017, more than 18 million students were enrolled in college in the U.S. According to figures compiled by Statista, nearly three out of four of these students have experienced a sense of “overwhelming anxiety” at some time, and just under 30% report having felt overwhelming anxiety in the previous two weeks."

Only 11 percent of students feel well-rested. Insufficient sleep can be a symptom of stress and impact the ability to cope with stress in a healthy way.

"One-fifth of all students surveyed had thought about suicide, with 9 percent reporting having attempted suicide and nearly 20 percent reporting self-injury."

I preface this by saying that I am so incredibly blessed to have never had to deal with clinical depression or thoughts of suicide but continue by saying that if I had, I wouldn't be an outlier.

A few months ago, I laid down in my wonderfully comfortable bed and planned on getting a good nights rest after a normal day of classes and work. The second my head hit the pillow, I felt like my throat was closing. What the heck? Did I eat something I'm allergic to? Am I sick? Is there something bothering me? Nope, nope AND nope.

At the "ripe" age of 20, even after a great, non-stressful day, I was experiencing a full-blown panic attack.

My breathing quickened, my heart rate spiked and in less than a few moments, I had convinced myself I was dying. Spoiler -- I wasn't. The clock kept ticking 12, 1, 2, 3...4:30 when I finally was able to lay down again. My alarm stung me awake less than 4 hours later thus perpetuating a brutal cycle.

Turns out, you don't have to have some huge life-altering thing happen to you to trigger anxiety. Sometimes, anxiety results from what you consider to be normal life.

This continued for a few weeks before I was finally able to get a grasp on my mind and "pull it together" with the help of consistent meditation and a great support group of friends and family. The more I tried to be vulnerable in explaining to my peers why I "looked exhausted" the more I heard "oh girl, it happens to me once a month" or "yeah, I've been dealing with panic attacks for years, you get used to it" or my favorite, "you really should just take something to make you sleep, that's what I do." ...... well, crap.

Ya'll. We are not taking care of ourselves. We are not preparing our bodies for adult life. We are not training our minds to handle the real struggles life presents and while the fault isn't entirely on us, it's our generation's job to fix it. College students are STRESSED and not normal student stressed, dangerously stressed. We need help and more than anything, we need to not be embarrassed to talk about it. Many of us are balancing a university workload, bills, multiple jobs, loans, an internship search, a job search, professional planning, clubs, and our social lives. No one said that would be simple but no one said we could do it alone.

When thinking about writing this article my first thought was, "what if my family, friends, professors or co-workers think I'm weak. Will this keep me from opportunities?" My second thought was, "eh. I should just write about basketball." My third thought was, "well shoot, now I have to go with plan A simply because I don't want to."

I don't have a solution. I wish I did. What I do have though is a voice and a love for writing and the ability to speak up about the real struggles that come with stress and anxiety. We aren't one of just a few...we're one of millions and that is huge.

Maybe going forward we're more intentional about answering honestly when someone asks how we're doing. Maybe we make it a point to fight our natural instincts and share something vulnerable. Maybe we talk about it more and ignore it less.

Or, if we REALLY wanna get bold, maybe we celebrate getting a B, we use up our allotted absences and we pass on the second job. What if we're the generation that changes the stigma around mental health? Isn't THAT the story of triumph we want to tell our kids?

While my situation has gotten better, it's a daily fight. I've learned how to be more present. I've become a huge advocate for meditation and I've started to come to terms with the fact that I can not and will not ever be perfect. It's easier said than done but I tell you what, the fight is one-thousand times easier with a small army standing behind me. As I close, I say sincerely that I would love to be a member of your army, fighting for you, all you have to do is ask.