top of page

For the Love of Loneliness

Appreciating a much-needed season of solitude



This title probably sounds like an oxymoron. Who in their right mind wants to feel lonely? Who in their right mind thinks that a feeling of loneliness should be "loved"? As people, we were not made to feel alone, we were made to have deep set relationships with those around us but sometimes, reality doesn't look like that. Sometimes, it seems like everyone in our lives has their person, their friend group, their community and we're just kinda floating in the middle. While that season is hard, it's one of the most valuable especially when it comes to shaping our priorities.


Unfortunately, we experience the most personal growth not in the periods of contentment but in the periods of struggle. The days that it seems harder than usual to get out of bed are the days we learn the most about ourselves and our resilience. Not having others to lean on may feel daunting but maybe it's that time in life that's crucial to learning to lean on ourselves.


If you are navigating a season of feeling alone, keep these things in mind;


1. Even when you feel the most lonely, there are more people around you than you realize. Whether or not you choose to look for them is your decision but oftentimes, we overlook our most reliable support staff.


2. Keeping yourself busy is a great way to combat feeling lonely. Whether you spend time at the gym, spend time with your pet, start a new show on Netflix, read a new book or find someplace to listen to live music, keeping your body and mind moving will help you keep your thoughts off of pesky negative emotions.


3. This is the perfect time to be selfish. Take this season of life to take care of yourself. Whether that means practicing self-care of spending a few moments a day writing in a journal, your life is on your own schedule.


4. Take this time to really think about what you want in a friend or partner in the future. There's no better time than the time of reflection to note and figure out what exactly you're looking for in those you spend the most time with.


Being lonely isn't easy, quite frankly, it sucks BUT there is something absolutely beautiful about the ability to grow and change on your own time table. I personally have worked very hard to reframe my thoughts and instead of telling myself that being lonely is a bad thing, I try to remind myself of the gift of time for self-reflection and progress.


For some, feeling lonely happens even when you're surrounded by people you love and whether you want to admit it or not, it usually takes a tough conversation to communicate those feelings. Maybe it means it's time for a change in friend groups or a need for additional support but the opportunity is all the same. Our bodies know when something needs to shift, all we have to do is listen.


There is no algorithm for fixing feelings of loneliness but even if there was, I'm not sure I'd take it, even on my loneliness days. There's something really beautiful about a season of personal and spiritual growth. It's all just a matter of how we look at it. Much like that singular tree in the picture above, our roots run deep and our base is strong, there's no need for external support to make the tree stand. Your faith, your morals, your strength will hold you up the same way, you just have to be willing to test it.

bottom of page