When I was about six, some boy in my kindergarten class wrote a "sweet" letter on a valentine that, despite the intention, scarred me for years. Now get ready for this one...it's a heartbreaker. It said, and I quote, "You're nice even though you're bossy." Huh. Ouch.
Truthfully, at the time, I don't think I cared very much but as I stumbled through the next five years of elementary school, I kept hearing that rude "b" word time and time again and the more I heard it the more I thought about it.
Eventually, the little girl who would make up the class game at recess or raise her hand first to answer a question stopped speaking up in front of her peers for fear of being "that girl."
Now if you're thinking, "okay, I get her point but that's a little dramatic," you're probably right (me, dramatic, NOOO) but the central message is still there. Whether you want to admit it or not, little boys that take charge are "leaders" while the little girls doing the same thing are "bossy."
Sheryl Sandberg said it best in her AMAZING book, Lean In. She expressed her hopes for the future by saying;
"I want every little girl who's told she's bossy, to be told instead she has leadership skills."
I am the last one to claim that little girls are the only ones who are exposed to damaging language but that's a post for another day. Today, I'm focusing on how to encourage young female leaders to be the best version of themselves.
So instead of " she's bossy" try saying "She's..."
1. A leader
2. Outspoken
3. Fearless
4. Creative
If you're looking for a chance to help her grow her listening and leadership skills try encouraging her to:
1. Count to 5 after her friend is done speaking before commenting (please
encourage me to do this, too)
2. Write out her ideas for a book or even for her own business (you'd be amazed
what little minds are capable of)
3. Sign her up for a sport, club or non-profit and let her find her passion and take
charge
4. Attempt to help her to execute some of her more ~wild~ thoughts
As we all know by this point, I do not have children of my own but regardless, I want nothing more than for "my girls" to accomplish every single thing I know they are capable of and this starts with you and me. We have the ability to encourage them, listen to them, hear them out when they have a "crazy" idea and push them to be loud, take up space and be talkative.
It's about time that we ditch the "b" word and start celebrating strong personalities. Without them, our world would be a dull, quiet place.
Girl, no matter what age you are, you are NOT bossy. You are SIMPLY a boss.
